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My husband left for Afghanistan in July, posted there for a year. We have had separations before from other tours and postings, but what makes this one different is the fact that both kids are out of the house. We had been sort of enjoying our ’empty nest’ last 3 or so years.
God has to have first place in those areas. No human being will ever be able to meet all of those needs all of the time. God does graciously give us husbands and friends, but our main fellowship and contentment must be from Him.
Working Away Relationships and Partnerships
Ive been dealing with this for about 10years now. But the last 7 have been the hardest cause of us haveing twins. It breaks my heart when my kids say boy I wish daddy could be here or wish he could come watch me play ball or do my gymnastic. I always have to be the strong one & hold the tears in till the kids are asleep then just cry out to God. I know he has a plan but we have to wait on him & his timeing. I also wanted to get my happy life back before I got into this reality.
Again, this is something I recommend to everyone right now, but doing it together can be huge! Taking a walk, doing yoga on the living room floor, or even working together to clean the house can do so much good. Right now, many of us have lost #s 2 and 3. And that’s a really huge problem for our own emotional health. Maybe it’s one night where you put away phones, turn off the TV, cook dinner together, and eat on your balcony/patio/porch. I’ve actually had a couple of people reach out to say “Help!
How to Cope with Working Away from Home in Jobs at Sea
Then, agree that you won’t go to bed until your daily items are done, and set a day of the week and month to complete those rarer items. Maybe it’s a pre-planned movie night with popcorn after they go to bed. Normally, Husband doesn’t notice how much later than him I sleep because he goes to work. Now, he’s in the room next to our bedroom on phone calls while I’m slowly dragging my weary body out of bed. These were some of the tips on how to cope with husband working away that you should follow. They will significantly lower the level of pain, and help ease up the situation.
My family is several states away, although I do talk to my sister. I’ve been fortunate that my husband has been able to call almost daily when he has been away. I think perhaps a mother with young children at home has the hardest time with a husband’s absence. She looks to him not only for a little relief in giving the children care and attention, but also for adult conversation.
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Yet other times you’re left wondering how to cope while you’re dealing with the kids and they’re living their life on a cargo ship thousands of miles away. For three years my husband has had a traveling sales job. I’m lucky to see him 4 or 5 days a month – and even then he is checking his email, making phone calls, etc.
I’ve recently been trying to be a bit more supportive and accept that this is the way it is. I can feel hard done to, and like I get the worst end of the deal, but the reality is that this job enables us to do so much as a family and I don’t really need to work . I learnt how to cope and how to manage routines . I felt awful most of the time that I couldn’t give either girl the attention they needed. I know this is the same during the day for most people but come bathtime and bedtime all I wanted was someone to help.
When Your Husband Works Away
He regularly works abroad, away within the UK and general long hours which prevent him being home for bedtime. I think he went to New York for a week when our eldest was 6 days old. This means we can’t really plan anything for evenings as we just don’t know. We know those 5am starts well and while my other half try’s to go down and back up in the same day some times we are at the mercy of the airlines. All last week Phil was on site till late then off back to site before we woke up so we barely saw him. It’s a rare occurrence but it does make me truly appreciate how tough some families have it when a parent works away.
This article was co-authored by Michelle Jacoby and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers.
I am pregnant with our first baby and he needs to be away for 3-4 days. I have been preparing myself to face it, without letting him know, how insecure I feel but it just wasn’t working out. “Coping When Husband is away “, that article was wonderful and it ministered to me and my spirit .
Plus don’t forget that being tired makes it easier to snap, shout and be disagreeable. That won’t be fun for your family and it won’t make the most of your precious time ashore. If you’re one of the many people across the globe working in jobs at sea then you’re probably well used to working away from home. You know what a life on a cargo ship entails and your contracts come and go like clockwork. Learn to enjoy your own company- Learn to be happy on your own.
If you live near an American military base or installation, see if you can register your kids to stay in a Department of Defense childcare facility throughout the day. If you have children, plan a fun outing that the whole family will enjoy, like a movie night or day trip. Plan an outing with your friends to get yourself out of the house. Get some fresh air by planning an outing with a friend.
Stay active by going to the gym or engaging in your favorite physical activities. Set a goal for yourself, like running a 5K or marathon. Developing a workout schedule also fills up your day, giving you less time at home to notice your partner’s absence. The decision was not taken lightly… it was career progression at a fantastic company but his role at the time meant lots of abroad travelling so it felt like the lesser of two evils.
When you are together again make time for you – just the two of you. Social events, kids, and family can wait while you go for a long walk. Don’t expect to talk about ALL the big issues in one go.
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